Plan Forward, Look Backwards

May 12th .Sunny.

Today, G section was completely empty. There was only Ian, Jordan, Maggie, Feilong, and me. Maggie obviously didn't sit beside Feilong and me. She just sat with Jordan, who seemed to be a bit cooler than how he acted and felt in the weekend. So, there was only Ian, Feilong, and me left together on the other side of the hallway. Suddenly, Ian goes, "Tiffany, Marco said that you hate someone.Who are they?"
"Uh...Ian..." I tried to explain, but Ian kept on going.
"Marco said that he knows who it is.Can you tell me who are they people you hate?"
"There is only one person, Ian..." Feilong said softly
"No! There are two aren't there?"

I tried to give him eye-contact and make his eyes follow mine, which are running toward Maggie's side. I obviously don't want to say it out loud. Actually, I didn't want to talk about it in the first place. But Ian didn't seem to follow me at all.

"WAIT! Is it...." then he lifted his palm, and traced the letter M and C. Maggie and Carrie.
"Uh...Not the second one..." I said.
"Really?"
"Yeah, they're fine now." Feilong explained
"Oh...so..." Ian traces the letter M again.
I nod.

Great Timing, Ian. = =

After a minute, Feilong whispers to me, and tells me to turn around and see Maggie. I turn around. Maggie puts her head down. I gave Jordan eye contact and mouthed, "What's wrong with her?" He mouths back, "She's just tired" I nod. Feilong, Ian, and I started to play cards, and Maggie soon decides to walk out of G section with Jordan. "Bye, Ian" she says. Whatever. I felt a bit bad when I thought about what happened again. It was pretty obvious that it was all about Maggie. But when I was talking to Feilong on the phone, I told him how I felt about the whole situation at lunch. "So what if she knows that it was about her., she's done worse to you..." Feilong comments. I don't say anything. It's not that he's completely right, but I guess Maggie would soon find out anyways. Although, the G section was only filled with us three at the end, it wasn't that boring.

The long weekend is coming soon! Some things I have already planned for the four days of heaven:

• Going over to Jenny's house
• Play badminton with Nicole
• Hang out with Nancy or Feilong or Joanna

Before my history test, I made all these promises to my friends like Jenny and Nicole that I would spend time with them. But I never really got around to it because of studying. But this long weekend is going to be filled with everything I love to do. Spending time with my dear friends, and studying hard for my subjects. [I know...the second one sounds nerdy.] I finally have at least one day that I can just sleep until 11 or 12! I didn't have those days for soooo long. I just can't wait for this weekend to come!

A few hours ago, I just signed up for my Science 10 in the Summer. I'm kind of scared about it because Summer school is so much faster and harder. It really counts on yourself, your own effort and hard work. Last year, I just did Preview Science 9, and I was already really tired and I kept on getting C+s and Bs on the tests. This one actually counts too! I have a provincial right after 25 lessons...a part of me says I can do it for sure because I'm already pretty good at Science. But the other part of me is saying that I should be a bit scared because Summer school is so intense. One thing is for sure though, as long as I try my best and put my heart out I can achieve anything. That's what I did for my history, and I think I'm going to get a great mark for that!

Freedom Day

May 9th .Dark.

I finally did my history exam and I think I did a decent job! The two essays I needed to write was easy, for what they let me choose from, and the other questions were pretty good. Although one page of the exam did stump me a bit...oh well...I managed to make it work at the end. I'm sure I'll get at least 6/10 on that one. It's ok! I'm sure I'l get at least a mark in the 80s. After a 2:30 of history, I went to Joanna's birthday party. We went to Watermania and we had the most funnest time. Jordan, Chris, Fiona, Ian, Joanna, and I were there. Joanna couldn't invite Feilong because of the limited invitations, and I was glad that Feilong was cool about it and he didn't get upset when he found out he wasn't invited. He even decided to draw her a card since he's artistic and he might even pitch in for the present I'm going to give her on Monday.

Before I did the exam, I still spent my lunch time at school, and once again, Jordan was left upset. A few days, Jordan already decided to tell Maggie that he's pissed at the fact that she doesn't treat him as her boyfriend anymore, and instead, spend a lot of time with other guys. Maggie would make him go out and buy her food and bring it back up to G section for her. [She eats all of it...Jordan has his own lunch.] She understood, and on the first day, she included him when she was playing her DS with Braden and Chris. When I saw that smile on his face, I was so relieved after. But it wasn't the end. At lunch on Friday, Maggie left Jordan alone once again, and Jordan had that emotion on his face that made me scared and worried at the same time. When Maggie came back, and saw Jordan's face expression, she sat beside him as usual, and just asked him simply, "Are you ok?" He doesn't answer. She tries one more time. No answer. She gives up and talks to Minmin, with Jordan in that state. Does she even like him anymore? Does she even care about him anymore? After all that trouble and all those things he had to fix to meet her expectations. He's been holding all the things that were pissing him off to just protect their relationship, and this is all he gets. One, "Are you ok?". That's it.

Although Maggie has done a lot of things to hurt me, the only one thing that makes me pissed at her and want to question her, is when she treats Jordan poorly. Why don't you give your heart to this relationship anymore? Do you still love him? Do you know that you didn't even do half of the things that he did for you? At Joanna's party, we were watching a movie, and Jordan got really bored and just layed on Joanna's lap. He suddenly whispered to Joanna and me. "I don't know if I should stay with Maggie anymore..." O_O Jordan never said that before. It's always the girl that says that to him. Before I thought that when they broke up, the G section group would split up. I don't believe that anymore. I think that the only difference is that Maggie will leave and go to Alice because that's the only person that she has left, including Vanessa. Truthfully, it's probably better that way. Whenever Maggie is there, the whole group has to watch what they say or how they act because they don't want Maggie to get pissed. It's not that we are scared...it just tends to be that way. For example, Joanna and I were laughing at lunch one time, and Maggie suddenly snapped, "Can you be quiet? I'm studying." in the bitchy tone. If you need to study you should go to the library. You shouldn't make everyone suffer with you, and not have fun during lunch. She always implied that she cared about others and how they feel. Not really. When she isn't thinking and she shows her real self. She's just selfish. We all deserve our lunch time. You're our friend, and we will listen to you. But it doesn't mean that you are right.

I just hope that Jordan finds out what he wants to do for his future. I want him to be happy. That's all I want. Even if his happiness includes having Maggie beside him. I respect that. I might not be happy about it, but if he is I will be satisfied. I just don't want to see him sad anymore. I want him to relax and just act any way he wants to act. I'm sure that whatever decision he makes, the whole G section group will support him. Jordan, FIGHTING!!