When is the End?

March 16 .Snowy, Sunny, Windy, AND Rainy?.

Friday was the last day before the beginning of spring break. For some reason, I got so emotional at Media Arts. We were, as usual, watching a pointless video, and him and I were just playing with each other's hands. I was listening to the song from '1 Litre of Tears' called, 'Konayuki'. Slowly, I grabbed my bag, put it on my desk, slipped my hand away from him, and rested my head. He thought that I was just tired from studying, like usual, and just needed some rest. But really...I was crying. There were so many things I was crying for. I was crying because I was scared, hurt, and lost. As I was holding his hand...I just stared at it for a few seconds,and asked myself. "How many more times can I hold his hand? How much longer can we hold our hands together for before either one of us lets go?" Just thinking about the fact, that sooner or later he'll have to leave me for whatever reason...I'm scared. Joanna...whom I just became extremely close with....how many times can I hear her say 'I love you!!!!" to me when she has to go somewhere before she leaves me? How many times will Chris say something completely stupid but hilarious to me before we don't see each other anymore? Maggie ignoring me at school...gives me a sour feeling in my chest. When she ignored me again on Friday, Feilong whispered to me, "It's ok..." although it did help that feelingI had...really....is it ok...? Jadie is not hanging out at G anymore. I keep on thinking about how I could of made her time at G more enjoyable so she would of stayed at least a bit longer. But it's too late isn't it...The number of people at G has really went down...now there are only 5 or 6 of us at lunch, when there were almost 15 of us before. I don't know what is happening at school. What can I possibly do to restore the way things are? What does it take? I'm so scared inside. I don't want to lose another friend. I don't want to lose everything that is important to me. It hurts.